Forget Glitter. It is about Survival.
Let’s not get it twisted. At Coachella it might be acceptable to wear white shorts, flowing Miu Miu dresses and have glitter everywhere; but Glastonbury and UK festivals are a whole different sphere of fashion. Forget the glitter. Festival fashion is all about survival.
Rising through the midst of the social media, the new festival fad has begun. The narcissistic press has popped its head up claiming that you have to be on top with your festival fashion, or you aren't having a good time. The glitter apocalypse has started in the likes of River Island and ASOS and we just want it to stop; it first started with glitter plaits, evolved into glitter bums and now it penultimate body is glitter tits. Honestly, it is bullshit.
The truth of festival fashion is chaffing, the continual worry of festi-smell [you won’t have a shower for 5 days, let’s be honest] and whether or not white shorts are a good choice considering the adventure you will go on to find a port-a-loo which won't give you an infection.
Let’s not bring in the factor of UK weather; because that is the game-changer.
Kate Moss and Alexa Chung might be the queens of festival fashion. But they also don’t actually camp. It’s a whole different ball game. Our call is, please don't pay out for a pair of denim shorts that Alexa wore once, take an old pair because they won't make it back in the same condition - and you most likely would never want to wear them again.
Vivienne Westwood Roman flats and the new Chanel Gabrielle side-bag isn't what you need for the festival. Yes, they can get away with it. But, for the average festival goo-er, with a pop up tent and potential constipation, the Chanel bag probably won't be the best bet for the festival.
Fashion features in glossy magazines make the experience look VIP. Fringing and sequins might look good on that paid model in Vogue. But when the fringing gets a dip in the port-a-loo you will not be wanting to wear that jacket again, and once you’ve cut yourself on a sequin – you will understand what true pain is.
Attending a festival is an act of survival. Potentially, it’s a glorified dystopian camp – you pay £240 for a week of absolute distress.
The decision lies towards the attendee. Would you rather have glitter tits, or avoid hypothermia?
Do what the British always do. Layer. Make sure you have that vest on call - when it comes to 11pm at night and you've been potentially rained on and you are also boiling hot because you are stuck in the middle of a crowd. It will save your life.
Also never ever wear wellies without socks.
If you can be bothered to care about what a semi-glossy magazine might say about what you're wearing then dress up. But you most likely will not care about taking your make-up off when you get into a steamy tent at 4am in the morning after dancing with stripper robots, or having a rave under the giant mechanical spider.
So what should be vital in your backpacks? What do we think you should pack?
It will be the best time of your life, the most amazing experience. But also, don’t forget the wet wipes, deodorant and toilet rolls, they will be the only friends that won't leave you.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? ARE YOU FED UP OF THE GLORIFICATION OF FESTIVALS? WHAT ARE YOUR TOP FESTIVAL PACKING TIPS? LET US KNOW WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.